That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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