Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
