I just gift wrapped bread.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
