So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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