In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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