she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
how does that bad decision feel?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
