You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
