she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
