Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Randomize
