I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
