I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
