Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
