Quick, to the slutcave!
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
