Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Randomize
