Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
