we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
