i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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