okay pat passed out under dana's car
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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