I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
