He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
where are my eyebrows?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
