My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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