Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
