Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
