The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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