On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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