so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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