He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
