i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
