I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Randomize
