I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
