dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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