It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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