that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
