I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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