hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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