Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
