Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
