I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize