I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
