I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
