Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
