it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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