i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
