she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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