My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
