Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
