i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Randomize