My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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