I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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