I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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